_{[I’m going to review this Beach Crasher as a product from The Flowery rather than Surterra. All Surterra did was package and sell it thanks to an emergency relief measure after their crop failure during Hurricane Ian in 2022. In all respects, this is flower from The Flowery, and therefore will be reviewed as such.]}

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Hey there everyone! Hope this review find you well, as always.

This is my third and final Flowery review for now, as my local Surterra is out of stock of their The Flowery-grown flower and is unlikely to get more. Since The Flowery still doesn’t serve my area, I have no access again. If you are interested in the context of how I came to get Flowery flower through Surterra, why these reviews are significant, and more, simply click this link to the Jet Fuel OG review that I posted last week.

This Beach Crasher, Jet Fuel OG, and Mimosa were the 3 Flowery strains that my location received. All 3 have been great quality, especially at $32.50 an eighth.

Quick Facts:

Beach Crasher

Lineage: Wedding Crasher x Triangle Kush Bx1

Price at time of review: $50/eighth (purchased on sale for $32.50/eighth) 

Lab Report

Appearance/Cure

This eighth of Beach Crasher makes 3 out of 3 batches of flower from The Flowery that prove the hype around their flower does have some credibility behind it. The appearance/cure is the main category where it is obvious that The Flowery is a step ahead of everyone else, and I’m told by some other patients on the Florida Medical Trees subreddit that these strains aren’t even the best that The Flowery has to offer. Beach Crasher is similar quality to the Mimosa and Jet Fuel OG, and was trimmed better than the Mimosa was.

You can see in the images above that the trichome coverage is extremely dense and they appear to be longer and more fully developed than almost any other flower I’ve reviewed on here – see the images in other reviews for yourself as a testament to that. The moisture content is nearly perfect (between bone dry and too wet to grind in a grinder), and the buds are dense.

Again, trichome heads are large enough to be abundantly visible to the naked eye. This eighth had somewhat smaller nugs, averaging around the size of a large grape.

I look forward to regularly being able to access this flower and other highly-rated dispensaries like Jungle Boys in the future.

Appearance/Cure Rating: 9.75/10.00

Smell/Taste

Beach Crasher takes a lot of its smell and taste from its Triangle Kush parent. If you haven’t tried it or read my past reviews of the strain, it has a nice kush smell – hashy, a little sweet, a tiny bit gassy, with faint hints of lemon and pine. The smell of Beach Crasher (or at least this eighth of it) is nearly, if not identical.

This isn’t the type of gas strain that makes the whole house reek as soon as you open it up, and it isn’t that nose-biting, pungent type of fuel. Those of you who have had Triangle Kush know what I’m talking about – it’s just more of an overall “kush” smell, a milder, hashier, sweeter, almost perfume-y type of gas.

The taste when smoked is similar to the smell: hashy, sweet, a little spicy, a little piney. The exhale is particular sweet and full-tasting, and seems to linger on the tongue for a while.

Smell/Taste Rating: 8.60/10.00

Effects/Medical Use

Not to be repetitive, but simply stating the facts of my experience: Beach Crasher again takes after the Triangle Kush parent here. It’s almost like Triangle Kush essentially copied itself.

I previously described Triangle Kush as a versatile indica, one that could help me wake up and ease into the day during the morning, and just as easily help me ease off to sleep at night – or anything in between.

Beach Crasher is similar. The effects are potent and the initial cerebral rush can be strong (especially at 28% THC), with the warm and relaxing body effects coming on almost simultaneously.

While the effects are nearly identical to Triangle Kush, it seems like this batch of Beach Crasher might be slightly heavier in effects. I could see this feeling sedative in higher doses.

With proper dosing, Beach Crasher seems like a strain that is good to use at nearly any time of the day. Very nice “classic cannabis” effects.

Effects Rating: 9.00/10.00

Overall Rating: 9.11/10.00

Overall, I would best describe Beach Crasher as an “outstanding” indica strain from The Flowery.

I shared a few closing thoughts on the Jet Fuel OG and Mimosa reviews that I will share here as well:

• Does The Flowery have the best flower in Florida? In terms of the grow and cure and overall quality/presentation, my opinion is of everything I have tried so far, yes. But: I have had strains from GrowHealthy that have almost been in this league. Trulieve’s Alien Labs flower was in this league. Some of the grams of flower I’ve gotten from Sunburn are in this league. But I have also reviewed strains that scored higher overall because in addition to being just below or close to this level of cure, they also had an insanely good smell and amazing/unique effects. The moral is this: I don’t think The Flowery is the end-all-be-all based off of this, and someone else in Florida could easily grow this quality or better in 2023. It’s good, not god. If a product makes you feel good, that is seriously the only thing that matters – not the opinions of strangers on the internet.
• I bought this at $32.50 an eighth. Now: I believe in there being justification in having tiers of prices if more time and capital is invested into the higher-priced, “premium” options. I’m also not going to judge anyone else for where they spend their money. I have bought several expensive eighths in my day. But: I got this for $32.50, and it’s $50 even at Surterra’s full price for it. It’s better than a lot of the more expensive stuff – literally half the price of Trulieve x Alien Labs’ Kryptochronic which is $65/eighth, lower than Sunburn’s $55 eighths, and it scored higher. It’s either time for everyone to improve flower quality to this level at a minimum, or stop charging so much damn money for an eighth of flower. We have seen now that it can be done. No more excuses.
• The Western Panhandle and other areas in Florida are still underserved. It is very likely that my access to The Flowery will end soon as Surterra’s new crops are produced and packaged for stock in dispensaries. Compared to central and southern Florida, our access is a joke. It is an entirely different landscape of the medical program in some aspects. Let’s start changing that this year and get more storefront and delivery access to these areas.

Thanks for reading – take care and be well, wealthy, healthy, and happy!

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