GrowHealthy is another MMTC that I have long-awaited the chance to try and review their flower products, after seeing many patients rave about the quality of their flower over the past year on the Florida Medical Trees subreddit. I already knew that GrowHealthy made high-quality distillate, as I’ve actually had some delivered in early 2019.

My local dispensary had two strains available upon their soft opening: this, and Strawberry Haze. I ran a poll on my Twitter account, where many of you voted on which strain I should try first. Strawberry Haze narrowly won, 43 to 41%. (16% said I should wait on another strain.)

Up to this point, I have always done exactly what the poll results directed. It’s a fun way to have all of my followers actively engaged in this site and its content, and I enjoy the element of surprise most of the time. But this poll was different, in that is showed me I really wanted to try the 99 Problems over the Strawberry Haze. I also still have plenty Strawberry Cough from MÜV left over (review here), so I felt that I was good on strawberry strains. I wanted to go into uncharted territory, not fully knowing what to expect – there isn’t a whole lot of data or reviews that I could find for this strain.

So here we are – does GrowHealthy flower live up to the hype?

Quick Facts:

99 Problems (Sativa)

Price at time of review: $50/eighth 

Lineage: White 99 x Stardawg

Batch/Harvest Number: F-033120-99PR-1

Cannabinoids

THC: 20.11%

CBD: 0.00%

Total Cannabinoids: 20.11%

Terpenes

Beta-Myrcene: 0.829%

R-Limonene: 0.827%

Trans-Carophyllene: 0.305%

Alpha-Humulene: 0.114%

Total Terpenes: 2.075%

Appearance/Cure

For around a full year now, I’ve seen so many people hype up GrowHealthy’s flower on social media. It’s on a different level, they say. It’s some of the best in Florida, they say. My expectations were set high.

Opening the jar and inspecting the buds inside, I found this flower was grown well – really well. The buds were dense and fairly large; the largest bud weighed approximately 1.4 grams. Everything on this flower looks great. Dark green undertones are blanketed in what looks like a visible coating of frost; these trichomes are some of the most developed and plentiful that I’ve seen on any flower.

It looks like this batch of 99 Problems flower was truly grown with care and a meticulous eye. The cure, moisture content, stickiness, trim, – everything – are very close to perfect. There are only three batches of flower I can recall that are in the same league as this eighth, with respect to the grow and the cure. Those are Trulieve’s Paradise Waits, MÜV’s Triangle Kush, and Fluent’s Odra (OG Kush).

In fact, I believe I stated in the review for Paradise Waits that Trulieve had set a new bar for flower in Florida with that grow. That bar has been met or possibly the slightest bit exceeded by this 99 Problems flower. The quality is phenomenal. I may have to retroactively adjust the ratings of the appearance and cure of my other flower reviews to provide the most accurate scale of quality in this area, now this kind of quality is becoming more widely available. Obviously, every single eighth of flower can’t get a 4.9 in the appearance/cure category. But, so goes it for this one.

Appearance/Cure Rating: 7.60/10.00

Smell/Taste

99 Problems has a moderately pungent smell, but has a few different things going on. The first thing I notice is a mild, musky skunkiness and equal amount of sweet floral and herbal notes. There is a very light hint of citrus in the background.

When ground up, the flower becomes slightly more pungent; sweet and skunky citrus terpenes are the most noticeable after grinding or breaking apart the buds, with the floral and herbal terpenes slightly fading into the background.

There’s also a hint of pine in the terpenes that I thought I detected as well, so I was surprised to find that there was no pinene in the terpene section of the lab report provided to me by a GrowHealthy social media rep. However, terpenes are much more complex than what we currently understand, so there’s an explanation for this somewhere.

When smoked, the taste seems to be very peppery, spicy, and piney. There are hints of citrus and fruit/floral notes there as well, but they are very faint.

Truthfully, if you are looking for the most pungent strains, 99 Problems may disappoint you – but I do find what’s there to be really pleasing to smell.

Smell/Taste Rating: 5.50/10.00

Effects/Medical Use

99 Problems feels almost 100% sativa to me, and it’s one of those strains that really took me for a cerebral ride the first time I tried it. Patients with a low tolerance or a tendency to develop paranoia from racy sativas should exercise caution with this strain. It is like a shot of espresso for me, a perfect morning medication to be productive and really launch into the day.

Sativa connoisseurs will enjoy 99 Problems a great deal. It’s up there with Sour Diesel and Durban Poison as one of the most invigorating, speedy sativa strains I have tried. I don’t recommend it using it any time later than the afternoon if you plan on going to sleep any time soon – it really is perfect for the morning and early afternoon, when working through a task lisk or trying to stay productive and/or creative.

Some strain keep us coming back for their smell, and others keep us coming back for how they make us feel. 99 Problems is the latter. I have probably slightly overmedicated with this strain because it is so well grown and the effects are really something special for me. I haven’t found many sativa strains that provide this level of quality as far as really helping me to reach in and harness my energy to do things, and to really enjoy doing things. While the name is certainly fitting for this time of human history, the effects are the complete opposite – I use this strain to help me find solutions.

Possibly good for treating:

• Depression
• ADD/ADHD or focus-related issues
• Lack of motivation
• Improves concentration and memory recall
• Increases energy/alertness, in a way almost similar to caffeine 
• Good for “stepping out of the box” with current mindset; good for changing mental perspective.

I’m definitely no medical doctor, so please take the preceding conditions only as my own personal observations from using this strain and having experience with a multitude of different cannabis strains. Everybody is different, and every body reacts differently to various medications. 

Effects Rating: 8.00/10.00

Overall Rating: 7.03/10.00

Overall, I would best describe 99 Problems as a “good” sativa strain from GrowHealthy.

To answer the question from the beginning of the review, I feel that GrowHealthy’s flower has lived up to the hype, at least from what I experienced with this eighth of 99 Problems. Sativa lovers should absolutely try this strain when it’s available – not necessarily for the smell or taste, but for the quality of the effects. Like I said, this is a special sativa for me. Very powerful.

If GrowHealthy’s other strains live up to this quality, they may truly be setting a different bar of flower quality in Florida. The only missing from making this strain completely near perfect was the smell/terpene profile, but a grower can only do what the genetics allow. I certainly look forward to try more strains from them soon.

Many more reviews from the various MMTCs and other content are coming soon – especially as I find myself at home nearly 24/7 during this COVID-19 pandemic – so stay tuned!

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